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| Haines family monument |
The Haines family monument looks like it belongs in an Edward Gorey book. It's lovely and Victorian. The front panels are occupied by the names of Alexander, Martha, John D., Lyon M. Amy, and Sarah Haines. The back panels are blank.
Martha Dingee Haines lived quite a life. Born just a few years before the birth of the country, she lived long enough to see it torn apart by Civil War. She outlived her husband Alexander by forty years.
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| Grave of Alexander Haines |
The four other names on the Haines monument are that of Alexander and Martha's children: Amy, Sarah, John D., and Lyon Miller Haines. Lyon died in 1835 at the age of 27.
The 1850 census reveals an unusual situation in the Haines family. None of Martha's children seem to have married. Instead, they all lived together with their mother and a laborer named William Miller. John was a farmer.
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| 1850 US Federal Census |
Twenty years later, although their mother had died, the siblings were still living together in the same house (according to an article in the Westchester Historical Society Quarterly Bulletin, this was known as the "Widow Haines House" and was built in 1815). Interestingly, Amy is listed first as the head of household, perhaps because she is the oldest, or perhaps because the property was actually in her name. Her real estate was valued at $6500, while John had his own personal estate worth $625. They lived with a farmhand named Hiram Sarles and a thirteen-year-old girl, Ellen Cutler.
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| 1870 US Federal Census |
Amy Haines died in 1877, and John in 1879. Sarah was still living in 1880, age 79, and is listed in the census as "widowed." I would expect, however, that if Sarah had been married and widowed, she would use her husband's name instead of her maiden name. It's possible that she told the census taker that she was widowed, or the census taker assumed that she was. She died in 1892, still occupying the Widow Haines House.
As always, I'm left with questions, mostly about what this family was like. Why did none of the Haines children marry? Were they reclusive, nonconformist, or simply unusual? Did they stay at home to help their widowed mother? Were they close-knit siblings who would rather live with each other than with anyone else, or were they angry and bitter at having no choice but to share their mother's house?
Also - who put up the monument to the Haines family? Judging by its design, it wasn't there in Martha's time. One of the siblings must have arranged for it, or perhaps all three of them together. Perhaps Sarah Haines, having no children, nieces, or nephews, stipulated in her will that her money should be put to such a monument after she died. It was certainly an expensive monument, possibly the largest and most elaborate in the cemetery.
The knowledge of the Haines family's story certainly changes how I view the monument. The person who arranged for it to be made would have known that the Haineses would have no descendants, and because they were not famous, the monument would ensure that the family would be remembered in centuries to come.
The monument certainly got my attention, as did the Haineses' story. I have a fondness for what I call "genealogical orphans" - that is, people who have no descendants. You see, in genealogy everyone has a mother and a father at some point, but not everyone has descendants. Since most people are mainly interested in the history of their own direct ancestors, these "orphans" are in danger of being forgotten, especially if they - like most of us - weren't famous and had just ordinary lives. It's a shame, because these people aren't any less important or interesting because they didn't reproduce. For that reason I like to "adopt" them as my non-biological ancestors and research them. Haines family, you are officially on my list.
Oh, and my personal theory is that the Haineses were a close-knit family. To me their monument suggests pride not only in the family itself, but in its closeness. They lived together and now their names are immortalized together. But that's just my take on it.
NOTE: There will be a reward for anyone who could tell me where the Widow Haines House is and whether it is still standing. In 1942, it was occupied by Reverend and Mrs. Lee M. Fairchild and was said to be on the Straus Estate. I believe that it was near Jim Wood's house. I don't know what the reward will be, but there will be one.
UPDATE: Widow Haines house found.
UPDATE #2: Dick and Laurie were kind enough to give me a copy of the article "The Haines Family of Rye and Bedford" by Estelle Hobby Haines (published in
The Westchester County Historical Bulletin). Estelle's husband was a descendant of Alexander Haines's brother
Solomon, who is also buried in the cemetery, and Estelle actually
knew Sarah Haines. Estelle writes:
Our family is indebted to Sarah Haines, the daughter of Alexander, for preserving the information about their ancestors ... Aunt Sarah, a straight old lady with white hair, gave the documents to my husband in 1885. On special occasions she wore a broadcloth cape reaching to the floor, a magnificent garment of long ago. She often spoke of her good neighbors, the Wood Family, whom she highly esteemed. To them she rendered inestimable service when their youngest son, James Wood 2nd, was taken seriously ill. Her nursing was considered the cause of his recovery and in appreciation Phebe Underhill Wood's copy of "The Imitation of Christ" was given her and in turn Sarah Haines presented it to the oldest of Phebe's sons. The volume bears these inscriptions reminiscent of three notable characters in that part of Bedford: Phebe Wood 1852 / Sarah Haines 1856 / Presented to Henry Wood by Sarah Haines 1880."
- Alexander Haines (1762-1821) m. Martha Dingee (1774-1861)
- Amy Haines (1798-1877)
- Sarah Haines (1800-1892)
- John D. Haines (1804-1879)
- Lyon Miller Haines (1808-1835)
